Hence I wandered around quite a lot throughout my life, looking for my unique journey…taking on a dream that can only be mine. From third year towards secondary school graduation year, I was on my personal downward spiral, a rebel to almost everything but keeping it on my own. I am even questioning the relevance of the information being pumped into my tired brain :-) but perhaps I am just tired from playing video games and reading komiks with the illusions these stimulate.
After graduation, my family is simply running out of funds to further finance my studies, nevertheless I took the courage to try PBMIT engineering. However, even subjects that are supposed to be easy suddenly cannot be absorbed by my rebellious mind. With all these and the financial pressure, I succumbed and started hunting for a job straight into summer.
How happy I was to land my first job that sounds good to me, besting other applicants to become the "maintenance boy" of Centropark, Rizal Avenue Batangas city. Then reality sets in, my salary is not even enough to sustain myself, I worked 12 hours for around 2PHP per hour! The salesladies are nice and mostly pretty, but no thanks, the generator is too huge for me to start-up for every brownout so prevalent those days, worst time was when that beast of a gen-set cut the forefinger of the company driver who was once trying to help me out; what a way to give me such a phobia. The boxes are too heavy to carry to the stockroom up the stairs for the wage that cannot even buy me a good lunch from a turo-turo. I wonder how it can be for my colleague on the other store who plans to marry her beautiful saleslady, I kept wondering.
Back to my hometown after my disappointing first city job, I found myself back to the farm works, and it's worse because I am cursed for having learned to compute how much I am earning for every blisters on my palms, from those liters of sweat under the charring sunlight and the shivers while gathering coconuts to save from tropical rain flood...it kept echoing within my brain those of my father's words when he was about to bring me to Batangas for High School education, I am not made for the farm...too lousy to be a farmer and he thinks I am bright enough for the pen.
After that summer of 1991, there I was back to Batangas city for another try, looking for a job to support the studies on what I have left from first year of engineering. Jollibee that has become very popular and offers quite a glamorous part time job those days for teeners opened a branch in Batangas. Wow, the queue of the handsome and beautiful teenagers among ordinary boys like me in Batangas City gymnasium took me 3 hours to get my interview, 10 seconds and it's done. I knew I was too ordinary for it. They never called me.
I ended up selling dummy filter screens for TV, to block the radiation, the proprietor said. I was too naive, I did sell some for the experience and for the money and , I realized I grew tall enough to have my first GF, a nice
lady 5 years my senior who’s among the top-sellers of the company, but that's another story, this one's for the struggles. That segment brought my wandering soul around town. Then I realized we were duping people and it was painful I was duped too. Nothing that PVC screens can do against radiation. We were selling it for too much promises and price just to remove the glare. I knew I have to quit it.
First batch of Jollibee part timers are about to "endo" and there's Smokeys right across the street looking for service crews. I filled up two bio-data templates I bought from Formosa...I can be luckier this time, with enough height and I have learned to smile nicely as salesman on my previous job. Mrs. Laurel of Smokeys and Jollibee managers took turns to interview me...aha, looks like I am having my revenge this time because both offered me the job. Jollibee compensation and glamour is way better, it was too good an offer then to pass-on for a pride.
The pay from Jollibee part time work was enough to pay for my completion of those subjects I dropped as PBMIT freshman. That was my first time as well to achieve something from work. I was awarded the best dining service crew of 1991! But the managers were disappointed on the rarity of my smiles to the customers. The new store manager ended my contract as they do for most working students. The good thing was into the summer of 1992, I was able to achieve my regular status in general engineering and with me is the wonderful Jollibee work experience of earning enough for myself and my education...and for a few bottles of beer too. The next school year of 1992, my parents who were may have been encouraged by my efforts decided to shoulder the cost on my pursuit of engineering degree against the tremendous odds of family struggles. I was a full time student again, and found out it feels good to be able to make my own Physics formula and get the same answer, played dare game with my friend on technical writing grade and the most memorable was the applause I got on my presentation of Rizal’s virtues. But on the side, I got hooked to another evil that is gambling. It started from some beginners’ luck that put a couple of hundred pesos in my wallet, and nice treats at Wanam noodle-house for my friends. It ended when I started losing big and realizing I was gambling with my father’s blood and sweat in the livestock trading business at Padre Garcia. I am so glad I was able to stop completely, the first time I swore to do so.
However, even if I was able to pass all the subjects to complete General engineering, my motivation remained quite low. When I was about to start on my third year to become a mechanical engineer, my neighbor told me about job openings at Purefoods Flourmill. Nonchalantly, I sent my resume and oh wow, they called me for an interview to work in the laboratory. I knew it’s a serious job opportunity hence on the way for the interview; I tried to memorize as many charming lines as possible on why I should get the job. The long winding rough road from Batangas city to Mabini Purefoods plant went on in a snap, my mind focusing on what to say to the laboratory manager. For having spent quite a lot of time reading books my sister bought from MV Doulus, I realized my verbal reasoning improved quite a lot that I passed the exams, made the interview and landed the job. I know it’s another chapter on my journey towards my still unknown dreams then. My self confidence started to build-up and so I thought…but it was not for long.
I took on the challenge to work all night and attend classes from morning till noon. I was not good enough for it…my mind cannot pick-up anything and I fell asleep in Thermodynamics class once. The choice has to be made and I took a simple logic “I am studying to get a job, but I already have one so why bother? I know of some folks who finished school but cannot get the job I have now”. I made a fateful decision to drop all my subjects and then that was the time when school have seen the last of me. But I realized the obsession to be different remained within me despite having a decent job in Purefoods. Where can I get my adventure, the extra-ordinary one?
I still cannot fully comprehend what happened to me one day. I have just received my full half month wage the other day. In my head, I am aware of a lot of problems I just cannot solve; at that moment nothing seems to be enough for me. Having worked for two shifts the previous day, I woke up to realize I am late for work, the first time ever in my several months in Purefoods. I felt so discouraged and then I made another more than silly decision; I am not coming for work, I will just ride any ride I can find anywhere, go wherever I may end up to. I ended up way too far, too far and deep into the Bontoc mountains, searching for my adventure, my unique journey my enlightenment, I was waiting for a miracle to come into my soul. Nothing of those came but my sick father who went after me, looking for his son who is lost and nowhere to be found. He and my uncle found me in Baguio when I am also about to go home. I am amazed to my fathers’ instinct knowing where to look for me.
Back into my senses, at least I thought so I reported for work in Purefoods. That was after five days of AWOL which was too much for the manager. My reasons were too dumb for any amount of compassion and I got suspended for one week. How ironic that I was forced to stay away from work for staying away from it. I was fired after a round of review by the HR vice president. That was despite the petition from my supervisors, a letter from all of them for the manager to give me a chance to prove I have learned my lesson. Nevertheless, I am forever grateful to them for expressing I was appreciated in spite of my foolishness.
Now that I am jobless again and no motivation to go back to school, back to farm works again for a while with the same problems as before. I took another short stint at Jollibee after the summer on a re-contract that I was not able to finish due to an opportunity offered by my sister who got a connection in Lipa city government.
To be continued...
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